Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Stupid Things Said By House Crew

Road guys talk about the local crews on a site just for them. It's educational and good to see yourself through others eyes. I can't say I like it but it's real.

I know I'm in for a bad night of mixing when the house sound says "Yeah, it's an acoustically perfect room!". Perfect for what, I wonder? Not for a live show, that's for sure.

A local rigger on a show call for a tour I was on blew me off when I asked him to watch the chains while he was running motors. I believe he said "Ive been doing this longer than you have been alive" or another typical line. Right afterwords he began chatting with his buddy while working. The chain got jammed and ruined the motor while I watched it all happen....lame

Working in a small arena, we marked that one point was to be a split 15 - 15 bridal. we hear the up rigger shout own to the ground rigger "whats the F***ks a 15 dash 15 V" yup.....

So were dumping the trucks, give one of the hands the FOH cases. "Where do these go?" he asks. "Send it to Front of House" our SM tells him. almost 1/2 hour later this kid comes back to the trucks and i shit you not i quote "I looked and looked, but could not find this house you were talking about."

I told a neck-down that I needed all the Stage Right Gear on the STAGE RIGHT Side....He actually had to ask the second dumbest question, "So is that YOUR stage right? or My Stage Right?"

"Ive been a stagehand for 20 years and never once has anyone asked me if I had a cresent wrench."

"Which one is the snare?" Spoken by a local audio guy in a theater, who had just finished telling me he'd been there for 15 years.

My fav was at Madison Square Garden when I said to the stagehands "Are you with audio?" and they replied "No, we're with sound?" You can't make this shit up!

I'd like to hope on that last one somebody was being ironic and somebody else missed it.


Anonymous said...

One theater I work at from time to time has a wall of shame with quotes.....one of my favorites...

"I'm not with electrics....I'm a lighting guy!"

Then again I work in a smallish local that has way more dues paying members than there is f/t work.....so I am sure there have been times where I have been "that guy" on gigs where its my first day back from a considerable gap of down time.

Anonymous said...

Three, possibly four, of those quotes came from sound people. That statement is open to several interpretations, most are probably unflattering to sound.
I can say with relative certainty that the last quote was said with considerable irony and a healthy dose of snarkiness.

g said...

Jesus fucking christ. This is hilarious. Must come here again when I'm not quite so drunk.